Revelino Fernandes auditions for Murder 3.

We never thought this would happen, even in our wildest dreams Ever. Yesterday we were at Mahesh Bhatt Production House to conduct an interview with the best romantically mental murderous writer in the world till date. Yes he is none other than Mahesh Bhatt.

We started the interview with the success of his first film Murder starring the beautiful Mallika Sherawat which raised a lot of eyebrows. Slowly moving on to his current film Murder 2 starring Jacqueline Fernandez which is raising evrything up. Upon asking him what are his future plans. He says, "I think Ill complete my Murder trilogy, then look for a subtle genre. Infact many girls have already sent us their portfolios for Murder 3 which we haven't really started the planning process yet. But the funny part is we recieved this portfolio from this funny guy who says he wants to replace Mallika and Jacqueline and wants to be the next avatar of Murder 3. He does look sleek(laughs manically)."

We asked him to show us this guys portfolio as soon as we saw it, there was laughter all over the place. It was the CEO of Elite Sports, Revelino Fernandes. Yes you heard it right. We managed to get hold of some pictures, check them out.

 

 

We also managed to get our hands on the note he posted with his portfolio.
""Mr Bhatt, If your reading this, I am a die hard fan of your sexy murder stories and I sent you my portfolio do check it. Im keen on replacing the two beauties Mallika and Jacklene, Im ready to go topless, bottomless, pantyless you just name it. Also feel free to see my topless pictures I sent you. You know I've got everything you want. Awaiting reply. Yours Lovely Revelino Fernandes.""

Despite repeated attempts, Revelino remained unavailable for comments.

He's a Casanova. He's a Chick Magnet. Wait for it..... He is Steve D'souzaaaaaa!

As you guys know Steve D'souza in his baby days crawled out of his shell while trying to play hide and seek. Little did he know his shell will hide forever. He remained the nude boy all his life. But then slowly adapted to the human culture and started wearing clothes.

Yes hes the same guy who said Dadar is not perfect, maybe cause he never found his perfect women out in Dadar. Steve D'souza who belonged to Our Lady Of Salvation church, was actively involved in the Youth Group. He was the apex of the church youth group even above Fr.Constancio Noronha. He was a tough nut to crack even without his shell. He did organize the best of the parties and picnic. He finally gave up on Dadar girls and the youth group's sad progress.

He finally decided to enter another battlefield 'Malad'. He found all the girls attractive out there and that's not it, they too have the hots for him. He is like a casanova in Malad. He recently purchased a 'Ferrari GTO 599'. At a recent interview with DadarLeaks, Steve confirmed that he is building a playboy mansion soon  for all the single guys in dadar.


We bumped into one of his colleague lets call him Stanley who says, "Steve is is a playboy with his playgirls and I am all set to play in his playworld (playboy mansion)" feels shy and runs away from us.

What can we say? Steve is definitely the prince charming..

An open letter to Our Lady of Salvation Church and YCWA.

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Breaking News: Elita Correia visits Niagra falls, water stops falling.

As you people know that last month it was reported that Elita was about to dive into the biggest falls in the world the 'Niagara Falls'. She had crossed the railings tipping the guard with some home made fugyas. Then she went on to climb over the small wall railings and was about to dive in like as if she was God. Even God would think twice. It was on time that she was pulled back to the ground by the local officials. She then started arguing with the officials that she was a professional at swimming and they should let her do it. She ends up getting banned in and around that area.

Elita Correia

Our sources confirmed that yet again yesterday Elita was spotted at the falls wearing a catwoman mask, this time manages to tip the guard with a kiss that lasted for ten minutes. But something shocking happens in the history of Niagara falls. As Elita reaches close to the falls within seconds the Niagara falls water just stopped flowing. No one has an answer has to how this happened. The whole world stood still including the Niagara falls.

People crowding the place even more wanting to see has to how this happened. Elita on seeing this left the place sadly after a good half an hour wait. But what happened after this was again shocking as soon as she leaves the place the water flow starts again. Surprising isn't it.

No one knows what happened. Now the only conclusion the Canadian officials have come to is that the Niagara falls was scared of Elita bumping it, losing all of its water and flooding the whole of Canada. This does make sense.

We shall wait and hear her end of the story when she returns back.

Jason Francis mistaken for a suburban night club bouncer. Mysterious girl leaves in vain. Then he goes on a killing spree.

Jason Savio Francis

Recently Jason was spotted with a girl. It is reported that Jason was seen enjoying sharing drinks at a suburban bar and restaurant, and was more than normal close to the girl. Maybe a family friend or Jason's new interest.  Both were in high spirits. When a group of guys sitting on another table started playing the very popular 'Munni badnam Hui' song. The girl with Jason got up from her seat and started dancing. She was this(arms wide open) close to the true Munni style.

Jason wasn't all that happy. On seeing this he decided to take her to a club so that both can dance and make merry. The duo headed towards Boat club, while the girl still dancing and shaking her hips to the honking sounds of the auto rickshaws. What followed after that was absolute chaos and embarrassing

Apparently Jason looked similar to the previous bouncer of Boat club who was kidnapped from the spot some months before. And the Boat club manager on seeing him was overwhelmed with joy thinking it was the old bouncer who returned back to the pavilion. The manager then hugged Jason and brought him his bouncer costume. The girl thinking everything is true, slapped Jason and left from the spot leaving him stranded all alone. Jason red faced filled with anger with his fists tight as never broke the boat hit the manager with  a table killed two bouncers present and fled off the spot.

We managed to get in touch with one of the eyewitness present there. Bunty, "Ohh Chokra bahut paagal hogaya jaise uska item ne usko chamaat markar nikal gayi. Yeh ladka sabko maarna chalu kiya, dance club ka do watchmen ka khoon kar diya, manager ko foda aur pagal jaisa woh boat jo laga hua tha woh bhi tod diya"

Asked to rejoin parish Fr Cajetan Pinto laughs insanely for seven hours.

In an untoward incident yesterday the dude of all the priest's Fr Cajetan went through seven hours of uncontrollable laughter. Our sources say that Fr Cajetan was celebrating fathers day with some relatives, when one of the many priests present asked him to rejoin Our Lady Of Salvation Church, what followed after that was unusual and unexplainable.

"He went totally crazy." Says one witness who refused to be named. We will call him Allwyn. "It was very strange. This priest asked him to rejoin our parish & then Cajetan just froze. Then he went on to laugh like a maniac. Like something seriously funny went down. Like if Shaunin Fernandez fell down a flight of stairs.”

Fr Cajetan was unavailable for comment.

Random booze & drug test at Curles. Shannon 'Oliver' Rodrigues makes hasty exit to Bombay on his rented activa.

It was just another day in Goa at Curles where Shannon and his pals were partying and having a good time.

He wasn't all that happy cause there was no football around, but was definitely seen enjoying with all the teenage girls around him. When suddenly there was a rumour about a random booze and drug test going to happen at Curles.

"He just panicked and started jumping." Says a colleague who wishes to remain anonymous. We will call him Adu. "It was just a rumour that was spread when he took it seriously & just disappeared like a ninja, the funny part being he was just having mango juice and he doesn't drink alcohol. Woh chodu tho bahut dar gaya."

Shannon was so scared that is said to have started his rented activa & zoomed off to Bombay. Within a span of few hours he reached his Bombay house locked himself in the room & didn't come out for two days. Suddenly realizing he didn't do anything he doesn't consume alcohol nor does substance abuse. Funny the way it is for a person who doesn't drink. Comes happily out of his room.

Only realizing that the Goan Police is on their way to catch him for robbing an activa .A case is booked under his name. *facepalm* goes back in room.

Rihanna won't dance for Salvation Church Fest, claims parish priest Fr Aniceto asked her to dance with an umbrella & very less of booty shaking.

Our Lady Of Salvation Church

Our reporters have confirmed the news saying that Rihanna due to perform for the Salvation Church Fest has canned the show. Due to the parish priest's want of asking her to perform with an umbrella with a very little of  booty shaking.

When spoke to Rihanna about it
Rihanna, "Fr Aniceto has asked me 2 perform my song Umbrella with an actual umbrella & not shake my a** a lot. WTF! This is not done I better perform for a crowd at Shivaji park where people will appreciate it & know who I am."

Rihanna the only time spotted with an umbrella

 Fr Aniceto remained unavailable for comments, but uh his spokesperson denied the fact saying that, "She is gonna perform come what maybe" & hung up.

One insider Benjamin says, "I heard some girl shouting & screaming  inside Fr Aniceto's room that she wanted sum LADY GANGA. Then I had to go & ring the church bell so I left from there."

Interesting let us wait and watch what happens...